Normalizing Our World
“Normalize standing in awe of possibilities instead of fear of uncertainty.”
Don’t you love it when you come across a powerful quote that stops you in your tracks and invites you to broaden your view of life events?
That was my reaction to this quotation by Vex King, British author of personal development books. Trace my thinking here….
Let’s start with what we don’t want - the “fear of uncertainty.” There are so many factors contributing to uncertainty right now:
Who will be confirmed as the next US Secretary of Education and what will the priorities be?
Will the US Dept of Education be abolished? If it is, will another agency oversee regulations related to public education? How will that impact schools?
What are the implications of the federal ban on DEI initiatives? How will that impact policies in our schools for marginalized students and their families?
How will new immigration policies impact our students and their families and our school procedures?
How will cuts to medicaid impact Title 1 funding, children’s health, and subsidized school meal programs?
How can schools sustain (and improve) their master schedules in view of teacher shortages (especially special educators) and budget cuts?
You can probably add more!
In these uncertain times, it’s vital that we create a sense of “normal” for ALL our stakeholders. One of my mentors, Dr. Claire Zammit, includes “normalizing” as one of the essential skills of a coach.
How about an example…
Let’s say I’m working with my coach on a problem I’m facing. My coach will ask me questions to help me uncover the core issues beneath the obvious problem. Through the process, I often discover unconscious beliefs, feelings, and assumptions. My immediate reaction is to be upset (and often embarrassed) about what I’ve just uncovered. Sometimes this is called the secondary breakdown - being upset about being upset. It compounds the problem and often immobilizes us.
Luckily, my coach normalizes my process of self-discovery and self-leadership. It’s such a relief to have her say, it’s normal to feel confused - or fearful - or worried - or angry - or betrayed.
Since I’ve learned it, I’ve used the normalizing approach in coaching conversations and with friends over and over. When we humans hear that it’s NORMAL to feel that way, we can relax and start thinking again. We also feel seen and not so isolated. Maybe we could even embrace a new normal (according to Vex King). What if it was normal to stand “in awe of possibilities” when everything is uncertain? What if we used this moment of disruption to imagine a new possibility and create the changes we’ve longed for?
So, I’ll invite you to experiment. The next time you’re talking to someone who’s struggling. Say, “It’s normal to feel _____ right now.” Then (after a deep breath and a healing pause) “What new possibility do you see in this breakdown?”
Even better, the next time YOU are struggling, say to yourself, “It’s normal to feel _____ in this situation. [pause] What new possibility do I see in this breakdown?”
By normalizing our struggles, we can build community and shine the spotlight on the educational system we want to create!
Better together!
Amy
P.S. We’re planning other ways to build community. Watch for some announcements in February!
