Joyful or Happy?
What’s the difference?
I love the response I see on faces when I tell people that my coaching packages are called Joyful Inclusion. They get it right away! They smile and say, “Yes! Exactly what we need.”
I thought I’d take a moment to explain why I chose that term and why I didn’t call it “Happy Inclusion.” It was intentional!
Lately, I’ve been pondering the difference between the pursuit of joy and the pursuit of happiness. I’ve synthesized wisdom from blog posts, book chapters, podcasts, and even a video clip of the Dali Lama for you here. Enjoy!
First of all, happiness is an emotion. I’ve learned that the pursuit of happiness is seeking something external to “make” you happy -- a new toy, a new house, that perfect date, some shiny object. But happiness (like all emotions) is temporary, and we’re left wanting something more.
One of my favorite stories is about my step-daughter telling Santa that if she could get the newest doll, she would be happy forever. I’m sure you can guess how that story turned out.
In contrast, joy is not an emotion. It is grounded in satisfaction — of accomplishment, or making a difference, or having a meaningful connection with another human being (or an animal or nature). It’s the warm-hearted experience of being fully alive.
Consider these:
When you walk in the door and your dog greets you like you’re the most important person in the universe.
When someone at work really cares about your family crisis.
When you do that little act of kindness for a colleague going through a hard time.
When your supervisor goes out of his way to appreciate you publicly.
When that struggling student lights up with “Hey! I get this!!”
When your “problem” student’s parent sends you an unexpected thank you note.
When you catch a student engaging another who is often left out.
When your co-teacher is willing to try your idea, and the lesson goes better than expected.
When you look across the room, catch somebody’s eye and discover that you’re not alone in finding humor in a difficult situation.
When you have the experience that you really belong -- that you matter OR you have created that experience for one other person.
When you recognize that you have grown in a way that makes a difference in your life or the lives of those you touch.
These are all joyful moments — and not necessarily happy.
Joy comes from a growth mindset --
the view that life will offer you exciting
challenges to grow. It means you’re
intentionally looking at life through a
lens of gratitude and appreciation.
People who survived concentration camps describe how they refused to give up hope. They intentionally looked for opportunities to experience joy and create joy in others.
Schools today are a far cry from concentration camps, but being a teacher can be rough.
Through Joyful Inclusion Schools, we’re committed to building teachers’ resilience so they experience JOY every day through mastering their craft …. So that all students will belong, succeed, and experience JOY every day…. Our dream is that ultimately, joy will ripple out into the community and the families.
We believe the world needs more JOY.
Looking forward to your reactions!
