Do We Help Students Before They Learn to Deal With Their Challenges?

The opening keynote speaker at the CEC Division on Career Development and Transition Conference in Myrtle Beach was Michael Bortolotto. His clarion call message rang through the audience.

I’d like to send it out into the world.

He was playing to a sympathetic audience – mostly special educators, transition coordinators and adult disability service providers. We had read the program so we were prepared for his unsteady gait as he climbed the steps to the stage. We expected to have to focus to understand his speech. But he got us laughing when he explained that it might be difficult to understand his unique accent because he was from Canada.

Then he described his childhood growing up with cerebral palsy. He explained the challenges that he faced with coordination, speech, handling basic living tasks. He described how his parents trusted him to hold and dress his baby sister. He said he’s never met anyone without challenges. Whenever he’s encountered someone who thought he couldn’t do something – or thought something was impossible, he became a “positive rebel” and proved them wrong. He believes there’s always a way if you set your mind to it.

How many of us who are “able bodied” use this growth mindset approach to our life challenges?

His most remarkable story was about his parents getting him a two wheeler and encouraging him to ride – tricky since he had difficulty walking a straight line and controlling his arm movements. Just sitting next to him was dangerous if he held a pencil. His mother explained the process, adjusted his helmet, and went into the house so he could try to ride on his own. After several attempts resulting in skinned knees, elbows, and chin, Michael angrily stormed back into the house.

“Why didn’t you come help me?” he shouted.

His mother’s response was priceless. “If I helped you now before you learn to deal with your challenges, you will never know what you can do.”

Images of classrooms flashed into my mind where paraeducators and teachers hover over youth with disabilities, ensuring that they don’t “fail.” In my workshops I’ve prompted professionals to consider the difference between empowerment and enabling youth. We’ve had intellectual discussions pointing at why we should back off and let students advocate for themselves. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the underlying reason more clearly expressed than by Michael’s mother.